Here's to the start of my newsletter with the intention of full authenticity, transparency, and integrity.

Okay, so here’s to my new weekly newsletter - this being the first instalment. Here’s to this naturally inconsistent Reflector staying consistent to this weekly commitment! :P

The intention of this newsletter? Authentic connection with those who actually care about my world and my process. Integrity. Transparency.

I have no idea where this newsletter is going to go, or what I’m going to write about every week. The only thing that I have in mind is that I’ll reflect on the previous week, and/or touch upon something huge that’s come up for me, with a full hearts desire that it supports you on your journey in some which way.

It’s been a journey being an online business owner - especially one where I very quickly was required to step into a leadership position when my organisation grew very rapidly back in 2020, whilst not having the type of leadership that I actually wanted & needed to support me with the vision that I had for my business. Yeah… there were leaders in the community that I was in, but not leaders that I wished to learn from or follow, and without the capital to invest in the support I wanted, I had to learn the ropes through books, observation, experience, and wisdom gained through reflection. A journey my soul clearly chose, and with this knowing I chose to suck it up in my human condition lol.

To cut a long story short, it’s been a time. A time in which has required many ego deaths over and over and over again. A period in which my commitment & dedication to the vision has been tested so hard. A stage in my life that was required to initiate me deeper through the various tests & lessons into my heart… because a heart centred leader who is there for the people, whilst also first being there for myself, is what I have needed to embody to ensure that the vision I have actualises in the best way — not just for myself, but more importantly for the people I am serving.

I have let go, moved through, and overcome so much to get myself to where I am today, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve been called lucky so many times for the life that I have been living for the last nearly 5 years, yet this creation has taken soul much perseverance and drive, with continual connection to the vision — because as hard as it’s been for me… it’s not about me. It’s about my family. It’s about my mum. It’s about my future children. It’s about my soul tribe. It’s about you.

Soul much trust and surrender has been required of me… especially in the times where I had no idea what I was doing, where I felt completely alone, where I experienced so much soul sucking, toxicity & projection from those I allowed into my life intimately as well as who I used to work closely with, where I was giving so much but not getting much back, where I quite literally had to do everything on my own because of how different my path of building my business was from everyone else in my industry, and where I had no fucking idea how I was going to pay my bills at various points along the way (legit, it took sooo much trust & surrender when I had just £2 in my bank account, an £850 rent coming up, as well as needing to get to a business convention in Japan… but then, magic. £3,000 became available to me. This is the power of doing the work and trusting. The Youniverse always provides).

Finances have been a huge huge navigation for me for the whole of my business journey, yet by the grace of The Creator because of the dedication, commitment, and full on honesty with myself in the part I get to play in creating the life I have envisioned, I have created my dreams and have always been provided for - and provided for abundantly. My gratitude is overflowing for the life I have been living for the last 5 years; I’ve lived in beautiful homes by myself, all with pools, food has always been there, I’ve built an amazing family of fur babies, as well as become a part of such a nourishing, supporting, and authentic community here in Bali… and not had to get a job. Yet, finances have certainly been one of my biggest navigations. Yes, I’ve created the life that I once dreamed of, yet business has not expanded in the way I initially wanted it to back in 2020; I’ve had just enough to live the freedom my Soul craves, go deep into my healing work, and enjoy life… but no more… As much as I have also deeply desired to, it’s not financially aligned for me to go back to the UK to visit my family or my best friend… and tbh as much as my ego has gotten frustrated, my Soul has been content with it all, and has needed exactly what I’ve received, even the things I haven’t…

…Until now.

When I look back at it all, I know why it had to happen this way — all of the tests/lessons/obstacles I have experienced have allowed me to strengthen, anchor, and ground into the power and refinements needed for the vision I have, and when it comes to the business results my ego has been desiring? They haven’t come because I haven’t been fully open for my community to be able to connect with me enough energetically to want to work directly with me. Why? Because of fear. Subconsciously I have been protecting my heart and how hard (but easy… and I’ll come back to this in a sec) the journey has been because of the mask that I decided to put on as I was catapulted into leadership.

I felt like I had to be strong for those I was leading, the warrior mama, which also put me more into a teacher mode, which ultimately led to a disconnection with my community because there was less of a connection due to my fear of sharing how hard it’s actually been for me — I didn’t want to scare people away from the journey, because it’s such a beautiful journey. 

Yet it’s been hard… but it’s also been really fucking easy… why? Because the more I’ve stayed course, the more magical life has become. Because of this vision I have. Because I know everything I see in my minds eye and feel in my heart is mine. Because it’s not about me. It’s about who I’m able to support with the healing, evolution, and ascension work that’s been tied to this whole journey, as well as the generational wealth I am building with Enagic’s career plan and the model that’s linked to it in TGSM.

It’s not about my worries, or my fears, or whatever else comes up that has the potentiality to keep me small… because they’re all just stories… they’re not real. And I get to create my story… so I have. And that’s what I’ve mainly shared — how we are the creators of our reality, and how through this focus that’s why I’m living the life I am today; yet, it’s hard for many to connect to this mindset, faith, trust, and surrender when it’s not something they have yet learned or embodied… so here’s to me sharing my hard with you with various tools, resources, and reflections along the way to show you that hard is normal… when it comes to creating everything we want, a tough journey is normal… it’s simply how we choose to approach it as to how it ends up turning out… and if we keep moving forward in the ways required, with full faith that everything will be okay… it will be okay. It always is.

So there’s a deeper insight into various navigations over the last 5 years… the real, raw truth — even though it’s been stretchy, stretching ourselves is how we grow… and that’s a forever mission of mine ;)

In recent news, the last few weeks have tested me hard… again, mainly with finances, faith, trust, and surrender lol! We will keep repeating the lesson until the lesson is learned… and I’ve come to the conclusion that as the woman who’s bringing generational wealth back to her lineage (yes, my Grandad turned it down from my Nan’s family back in the day through pride), this is one of my biggest tests for a reason — it must come back to us in a way that heart-centred and full of integrity.

Patience has been a huge one too… I’ve had to have a lot of patience…. Children linked mainly, lol! As well as continuing the commitment to my growth in all areas, amidst the extra commitments that have come up.

To get to the point, I rescued a kitten a few weeks ago that I’ve called Edward — he was in the vets for around 8 days, then I had him home for a few days in a cage whilst a contagious skin infection was healing so he could merge in to the family, then his poop got worse so I had to take him back to the vets, to then find out that he’s moving through FPV (please hold him in your prayers)… Much noise, cleaning up shit, and vet bills I didn’t equate for in my budget lol.

On top of that, my other cat split his pad open, so he’s been healing, needed stitches, and has subsequently been inside the house also for a few weeks. He’s been getting very frustrated over the last 6 days or so, has escaped a few times, kept us up through the night with his howling, and since his last escape yesterday he lost a stitch and his wound has opened up again… which means he’ll need to get sedated again and get more stitches… not ideal but it is what it is. I am exhausted to the point of crying, that I’ve had to get sleeping pills for Erik so I can sleep through the night. I pray he heals quickly and that he doesn’t escape after these new set of stitches because I really am not enjoying feeling his frustration (as a Reflector myself), or being punished by him through his lack of understanding that I’m supporting him… so much patience has been needed, as well as control/processing/alchemisation over the lower vibrational emotions I’ve also been feeling because of it.

On a good note, I’ve never been more clear about my business and its direction. I recently invested in a high-level mentorship, even though that’s been so so stretchy for me financially, and I feel sooo very nourished, held, and supported by this new teacher of mine. She’s indirectly teaching me soul much just by being herself, unapologetically, and authentically… reminding me that this is the best way to build a business, and a huge reason as to why you’re reading this now.

I’ve made some shifts within The Growth Shift Membership. As much as it’s a whole business model linking with Enagic to support you in building your freedom life around your personal brand, it’s also a school that teaches you the fundamentals of the personal & spiritual journey so you can truly appreciate this whole physical experience for what it is. I have included my premium courses within the membership, so you don’t have to pay premium, you can simply rent them for the time you’re a member, and as I continue to expand my bodies of work they will also be added to the membership. My intention for TGSM is an affordable platform of curriculum for your conscious life creation, where you’re able to access everything you need to thrive in every area of your life… so that’s what it is. It will continue to grow & evolve as I do, and I’m excited to continue to expand into a better teacher & leader for those I am so very grateful to be in the position to guide.

It was also my breathday yesterday! I’m now on Level 33 and I had such a beautiful day. A slow start, love with the fur babies, wrote a piece of content, went to visit Edward for 1.5 hours, came back to mine for some chill and chai tea, a dear sister of mine (Nat) came over, Erik then escaped which was a drama (I didn’t let Nat know to shut the bathroom door even though my intuition was telling me coz my ego was like “she’ll shut it coz it was shut when she opened it” … wrong! Always listen to your intuition lol!), then we got him back with one of his stitches having come out lol, then we went to AeroxSpace!! Which was SOOO fun and exactly what my inner child needed. It’s an indoor activity park with climbing, jumps, a space coaster, VR, trampolines, slides. Aaaah! I had such a ball lol! What a beautiful way to welcome in this new level. 33 is apparently a HUGE year (the Jesus year)… and I’m all for this year being the best one yet!! Yeeehaaa!!

So that’s this weeks instalment! Thank you for getting this far.

Excited to continue to serve you in this way — I’ve decided that my social is not a place I wish to share this deeper stuff and that only people in my world at this capacity, in my free telegram group, and The Growth Shift Membership get to know me like this. So yay! Congrats to us!

We’re rising!!
And we get to be unapologetically ourselves whilst we’re at it, creating deep, authentic, and collaborative connections that last us a lifetime. :)

I love you.
Melly
Xo