Ceremonial Bath Times - The Release of a Deep Despair

Bath time for me, is ceremonial. It’s my safe space to feel whatever I need to feel, whether consciously or unconsciously.

We have so much emotion that has become stuck in our bodies through repression & suppression over our lifetime, and that we have inherited from our ancestors, that we must give ourselves the time and space to feel and transmute them… otherwise these lower frequency emotions will come out eventually in undesirable ways; whether that be through sabotaging our relationships, or dis-ease in our bodies and areas of our lives.

When I started to cultivate a deeper relationship with my body back In 2020, one of the things I started to include in my life was a range of somatic practices to feel whatever was required for me to stay healthy and light through the alchemy & transmutational work that was happening; sometimes my mind was involved, many a time it wasn’t.

It’s important when working with the body to remember that not everything will make total sense consciously, yet energetically it works. However, sometimes we must have our conscious mind and body work together to achieve optimal results; and the more we take the time and space to understand/work with both our mind & body, the easier it becomes and the more we trust ourselves and our internal guidance.

Today’s been a day where I’ve felt energetically heavy to the point where I was called to rest/meditate more than what I would normally - having an Aquarius Stellium in my chart and Pluto stationing itself into Aquarius permanently today may very well play a huge role in this…

Anyway, when I got myself up from my rest this evening I was nudged to have a bath.. so I started to run one whilst I made a ceremonial cacao for my date with the water.

I soon realised I needed to get more drinking water so I ordered some. The water here in Bali isn’t great from the taps unless a pre-filter is installed, and I’ve not yet got around to that so I get gallons and pump the water from the bottle through my Kangen machine (learn about the water, here). 

The order went through great, and then I received a message from the driver that they’d run out of the gallon bottles at the shop, and that he would go to another store to get it so instead of paying by card via the app I’d pay him by cash and cancel the order when he got here.

I agreed, amidst worry & suspicions that came up. My mind is very protective in the sense that it instinctively wonders people's motif - it’s a work in progress letting go of these fears that have been conjured up within because of past lifetime experiences… The question I asked myself was “Why would he want to do me wrong?” … which is a logical question, yet when there have been layers of emotions built up over lifetimes of being done wrong, it’s certainly a navigation back to trust, strength, and creating safety.

What I’ve come to remember through my path of Buddhism is that every single person has Buddha nature within them, and when we choose to meet them with ours then our experience unfolds beautifully. I decided to do just that.

So, bath is running, cacao is simmering, and water is on the way.
So blessed. So grateful.

My delivery driver turns up.

“Your place is so hard to find and it’s so dark!” - which wasn’t with an attitude of complaining, but rather an exasperation because he didn’t want to keep me waiting.

I met him with a smile and such gratitude that he offered to do this good deed for me by going elsewhere to find the water, rather than cancelling the order (because many would have just cancelled).

I gave him the money for the water with more than double what it cost for the water for him to keep for himself.

Mr. DD was shocked. “Really?!”

I looked into his eyes and smiled. “Yes, really. It’s for you. Thank you so much for doing that for me”.

“Let me help you bring it in! Thank you! Thank you!”

He brought the water through to my home & up the steps. “You have a really nice place here!”

“Thank you!”. I walked him out.

As he was walking back to his bike, he turned around. “Thank you so much. I wish you so many blessings, and I hope you get richer and have a wonderful life”.

I was shocked.

What a lovely thing to say! I returned his blessings with so much gratitude and warmth and walked back inside my home. And cried.

This is why I have created the life that I have created, and continue to expand… so I can give back generously and make the world a better place in the ways that I’m called through the time & resources available to me.

I’ve been having a pretty hard/stretchy time recently in various areas of my life and what I’ve been witnessing, that this seemingly small combination of words from a stranger that was so sincere really got my heart… I was so grateful for such kindness. I cried in full gratitude all whilst sending him the feels energetically. Wow.

I had no idea what would next transpire in the bath, yet I’m not at all surprised with the way the Universe works lol.

Anytime I desire to have an intentional somatic release in the bath I always clear the energy & prepare the space by calling in my angels/guides and setting grids around my home for support & protection.

After I got in the safe hug of the hot water, I again felt how grateful I was for life, for what this delivery man did for me, as well as what he said, and then a huge sense of despair came up that needed to be released.

There is a deep reason from the depths of my soul that draws so much emotion in me as to why I move the way I move, why I do what it is that I do, and why I have and continue to transform myself & my life in the ways you continue to witness.

I may seem aloof, hard, and strong… as if nothing phases me or as if I don’t care. That’s the Aquarius Stellium in me.

I may also seem overly enthusiastic about the future, dreamy, child-like, with out-of-the-box ideas for forward movement… which causes many to not take me seriously. That’s the design of being a Reflector in me.

Regardless, I see, hear, and feel so much - it’s my superpower. I am a huge open vessel and I care so very deeply, it’s why I have transformed myself in the ways that I have. I desire better for my family and my future children, and I know exactly what we need to do as individuals, and as a collective, to change things. 

How do I know? Because I’ve done it for myself and created such beauty because of it. And if I can, so can you. So can all of us.

What's important to know is that if we are going to create a better future for ourselves & our children, we must become wholeheartedly aware of what's going on in the world, how we have played our part in the situation we find ourselves in, and channel whatever lower frequency emotions that we feel towards positive change in only the ways that we can. We must show up in strength, surety, and determination for the shifts we are a part of creating, even when we don't know what the fuck we're doing, and we must think differently. It's insanity to think that we are going to get different results by doing the same thing. And we continue to move and get better as we rise.

So where was this despair coming from?

Heartbreak. Heartbreak that as a collective we do not feel safe.

There’s still a part within me that doesn’t feel safe, and why these worries and suspicions came up with my delivery driver. It’s a process. A marathon, not a race.

We do not feel safe in our relationships. We do not feel safe in our own homes. We do not feel safe in our place of work. We do not feel safe in our financial situations. We do not feel safe as we travel. We do not feel safe within our minds. We do not feel safe within our bodies. We do not feel safe to be with ourselves. We do not feel safe to BE ourselves. We do not feel safe.

And it’s heartbreaking to me.

When we don’t feel safe, we have our hearts closed, and our armour raised. And when we have our armour raised, we are continually on the defence. And when we are on the defence, our defence causes others to react to defend themselves. It’s a perpetuating cycle. And it’s heartbreaking because as much as we think we’re helping ourselves by being closed & on the defence, we’re making it much more difficult.

Why’s it more difficult? Because it causes division between us as people.
If we do not feel safe with each other, how can we be there to support each other effectively??

Why have we accepted feeling this way as normal?
Why have we accepted relating with each other in this way as normal?

Just because the majority feel unsafe, have their heart closed/protected/armoured up, and are on the defence/attack, doesn’t make it right.

How is hurting another just because we’re hurting, right?

What is it about creating a negative story about another because of our own past experiences that's right?

What ever happened to “treat others how you would like to be treated”?

We have closed ourselves up so much because of our own past negative experiences that we haven’t dealt with, as well as the way we have been trained by the narrative to fear and not trust our neighbour, that we have quite literally created our own prison of shitty feelings and stories, and topped with the fact we do not feel safe, there is a lack of healthy expression.

That’s not fun. At all. For anyone.

And I’m angry. I’m angry. I’m upset. I’m fed up.

For the people, and most especially for the children.

I’m sure we can all agree that a child’s safety is our #1 top priority.

Yet, how many children reeeaaalllyyy feel safe in all areas of their lives?
How many adults are doing the inner work to heal their own inner child to have them feeling safe?

I rarely express this anger because I channel it in positive ways where I can effectively make a difference, whilst healthily letting it go through the various somatic body practices I’ve incorporated into my life like my bath ceremonies, but it’s there.

I am the protective mama. Don’t fuck with the children. 

Whatever is going on in the world right now is doing just that… and the only way we are able to shift that is if we choose to shift things as individuals & a collective.

The children learn from us; the parents and the caregivers.

And I’m so very hopeful for positive change.

I’ve experienced it in myself with my intentional effort, and I’ve witnessed the shift over the last 7 years to the receptivity of the collective when it comes to this new way of Being/doing & working required to create a better experience for future generations.

What example are you choosing to give to the children in your life?

What legacy are you choosing to leave? 
Mentally/emotionally/physically/spiritually/financially?

I started my online business journey back in 2017 to create safety for myself financially… yet the safety it’s allowed me to create throughout every area of my life with the strengthening of my character and expansion of my power is something I never could have imagined, yet the best thing that could have happened.

Safety can only be created externally when we create it internally, and other than within ourselves, the most important aspect of safety that we can create within our lives is within the relationships we have.

How do we know when we don’t feel safe?
Our nervous system gets thrown out of whack.

Okay great - so then what do we need to do to calm our nervous system down and come back to safety? Proactively create it. Within ourselves by whatever conscious mindset work/somatic body work/evolutionary action we need to do to serve its creation, and then within our relationships once we’ve reached a neutral place, by healthily & effectively communicating our position in what we want/need/require for safety to be cultivated & maintained in the relationship, with our heart wide open.

It’s a process, yet it’s required. As we cultivate safety within ourselves and the relationships we have, this will naturally ripple out through our families and communities. Not everyone is going to respect everything we want/need/require for the safety we’re creating, which then comes down to us to decide whether we’re going to honour ourselves and distance/leave, or turn our backs on ourselves and stay in the same dynamic.

Sometimes creating safety requires us to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.

Our nervous system may be going whack at the thought of showing up in a certain way, or expressing something we need to express - this is because of past experience. Yet, it’s our choice as to whether we continue the story by bringing it into our present. 

The past is but a memory that when focused on will not allow us to shift towards better. We acknowledge, we learn, and we pivot towards creating a better outcome from our lived experience with no hang-ups or judgement. Intentional & aware action allows us to transform things.

Yes, it may be scary, but showing up and expressing ourselves in the ways we need to grow & create the healthy, happy, and nourishing relationships/environments we need to thrive is what’s going to show our nervous systems we are safe when we are.

When we show up and express ourselves to find that we’re not safe, then that’s guidance to either strengthen ourselves and our boundaries further or move towards places/people who are.

The reason I can show up in the ways that I do, with a positive attitude & my heart wide open, is that I actively meet my lower-frequency emotions and the letting go of them with reverence & respect; they’re there for a reason, and when we tune into them we can become conscious to what they’re guiding us towards.

The pain we feel is what guides us towards our power… and the most important aspect of that sentence is the word feel.

Typically, we are suppressing the low-frequency emotions because we have been taught that way, so much so that this suppression has now become unconscious to the majority.

Yet, when we choose to consciously notice, witness, sit within it, and feel it, we get to understand ourselves more as well as open ourselves up sensationally to a new way of operating that is healthier, happier, and more nourishing.

I cried so hard in the bath whilst letting out the sounds I was guided to by my body until it told me the release was complete. When I got out I felt amazing. This is the power of letting go of the dense & heavy energies within our bodies, as we let go we continue to rise and we come back to our hearts.

The most important thing we can do is give ourselves the time, space, energy, and attention to get to know ourselves at an intimate level - which is the basis of what I teach within the spaces and experiences I have created. You can check out the marketplace here, and if you're unsure of where to start then you're welcome to message me to see what I feel is best for you!

Where is your relationship with your body, currently?
Do you connect to, respect, and honour all of your feelings?
Would love to hear where you’re at!
Go here to create an account so you can leave a comment.

It’s 11.44pm now (angels!) and I need to sleep.
I’ll post this tomorrow.
Ilysm!
Melly
xo