Am I Lazy? Or do I just call the shots?

This weeks newsletter is being written from the comfort of my day bed (at night lol), because I literally cannot be bothered to get up off this cushy little butt and either sit at my desk, or set up my laptop on my daybed desk.  oh the beauty of being able to work from anywhere, on either your phone or your laptop. 

 Yep. That’s the daybed desk right next to me. Nope, I still cannot be fussed to go and get my laptop to write this piece on there, yet my mind says it would probably be easier to type on there… my souls wish is to see how easy it also is on my phone so that it doesn’t come up as a future excuse to not do if the laptop is unavailable.

Method in the madness, always. 

This weeks been an interesting one to say the least. As always, it went by so fast even though I’ve been going so slow (is this just me or does anyone else feel this way?), and I finally feel like I’m in a place to get my butt in gear, crank up the volume, and party harder so more of my soul tribe come and dance with me on this beautiful journey.

… and I’m not talking about the kind of wasted on 5 types of drugs parties I used to have — more so the expanding high-on-life-and-it’s-possibilities party I’ve been living deeply for the last 5 years.

Fuck. I’m so grateful for my freedom.

It’s phenomenal that 8 years ago I was at the lowest point in my life, at the tail end of such a toxic co-dependant relationship, confined within the boxes that had been constructed for my by outside influences, and at my rock bottom in all the ways.

Things really can change so drastically when we make the decision, commit, and show up every day for the changes we desire.

I’ve never subscribed to the hustle, it’s not the nature of my Human Design as a 5/1 Reflector. Yes, I am extremely ambitious… yet I will not hustle my butt off and burn myself out to get there. I show up daily in the ways I’m intuitively called, dedicate myself in what’s required to build the vision, and fully trust in my divine timing.

Has it been frustrating for my ego to not consciously be where I wanted to be financially? Yes. Part of me feels really depleted that I’ve not yet had a £10k month after all of the work I’ve put in, when I see people in my industry on £180k months in 3 years (I got close though at £8.3k!!) …

But if I’m being really really real; the goal for myself has been, and has always been, freedom. Those who grow quick financially in our industry have paid their dues previously, have insanely hustled, and like I said… I do not subscribe to hustle, and I still had huge dues to pay on a spiritual standpoint. It’s all good. I know insane wealth is mine, it’s written. I feel it in my bones and I see it in our career plan lol.

Also, hella finances do not always need to be made to equal freedom OR abundance. And the last 5 years of my life has been proof of that, being as I’ve been living so abundantly and free, completely to my hearts desire.

Slow growth is sometimes much better for ourselves in the grand scheme of things anyway… maybe not for our ego, but definitely for our soul… and for sure our nervous system.

I’ve learned Soul much over the last 5 years that has really allowed me to anchor and ground into my power & purpose in this lifetime, and serve in the best way as the leader & teacher I came to this planet to be. All of which is in The Growth Shift Membership, and is continually being expanded on as I continue my own journey of embodiment.

I’ve decided this year will be the year I breakthrough and co-create £10k months with the Youniverse, however. I had a little dance with a dear soul sister of mine earlier… I’m done with not living up to my full potential. Now is the time; I am no longer in my deep healing & integration portal, I’ve finished fucking around, and I am now ready for huge impact through sharing everything I’ve embodied on scale. I just wonder how long it’ll take me to reach £10k in a month. Let’s see! I’ll keep you posted. 

Anyway, back to this freedom.

Edward, the kitten I rescued, passed over on Tuesday night. I was called to turn my phone on mid-chant on Wednesday morning and received the notification to promptly bawl my eyes out whilst chanting and through to the end. It was heartbreaking and so much grief came from me in respects to stories of it being my fault for bringing him home too soon from the vets, to then have to take him back coz he got worse, and letting go of what could have been with this new beautiful addition to the family. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and as a sister so beautifully put it

Which was already exactly my thinking. Everything is happening for us, and for a reason. If he was meant to stay, he would have… and because he left there was a message/lesson he came to bring me… the conclusion I came to was that “everything is going to be alright - just keep moving and leading from the heart” … why this? Because when I rescued him his vet care was not in my budget whatsoever (and why I initially brought him home so I could continue care at home at less cost), yet I ended up deciding that I didn’t care for the financial worry, that I just wanted him to get better, and that I would figure it out… I just wanted him to be okay. And then £2,500 became available to me.

Just 2 days after receiving notification of that coming my way, he passed. And I am so grateful that he chose to transition over the night before the day I was due to go visit waterfalls, because nature was certainly the medicine I needed to start my grief process.

Truth be told, I’d rather Edward still be here alive with us and thriving… yet it was an important message for him to leave me with, considering the financial navigations I’ve had throughout my journey which in some instances has led me away from my heart, and back up to my ego.

It’s the heart that always wins.

When we lead from our heart, and in full integrity, things always work out in the end.

Edward came here to remind me that. Sure, his life didn’t work out in the way I consciously wanted it to… yet, with the soul contract we clearly had, it did.

Short before I rescued him I said to a sister of mine I was ready for a family… him coming along with all the noise and runny poop I had to tend to showed me just how hard it was going to be, and how I get to turn up the volume to create the results in my business so it requires less time and gives me more money to suit the lifestyle I want for my future family.

Sure, my business is great for me now I haven’t got a family to provide for aside from my furbabies… but what about the 5 kids I want? LOL nope. We’re not there yet. 

And it’s not like my future hubby won’t be providing… coz he will. He’ll be just as ambitious as me, I’m sure.

Yet, I’ve got so much wounding around being provided for by the masculine, as well as being controlled if I did not have my own money, that it’s down to me to provide for myself in that way so no one controls me because of finances, and so my man is the type of man I want him to be… because until we give ourselves what our parents didn’t give us, we will get that repeated in our intimate relationships… and as much as I love my Dad, I doooo not want to marry him.  I’m breaking those chains lol.

So, thank you Edward. For the message, reminder, and the kick up the butt. I’m grateful to have known you in this physical reality, as well as now have you as a cat guardian in the ethereal.

It’s also interesting to me because I felt for 1 month that I wanted another cat. (Was waiting a whole lunar cycle to make sure bc of being a Reflector). My body kept saying yes so the day before Edward ran in front of my bike I said yes to another cat, and I ended up choosing him and saying no to the other cat because he chose me and I couldn’t leave him to die on the streets. Now he’s passed, my body says no to a cat. The extra feline protection I was calling in is now in the unseen worlds, and I’m okay with that. May he enjoy himself with my first cat, Tinks.

Back to the freedom, lol! I said we were going back to it and then spoke about death pahaha!! But it all links, so hold ya phone and keep scrolling!

Soul grateful I had the freedom to go visit Edward everyday, no one telling me how long I could go for or when I had to be back.

Soul grateful I had the freedom to process and grieve his death, and bury him in my garden in the way I wanted to.

Soul grateful that through the processing I was able to slooooow things down even more so in my life because that’s what my emotions and body were calling for.

This is what creating freedom is about.

It’s about honouring absolutely everything that we want/need & require out of our lives… and this will change on a day to day/week to week/month to month, and year to year basis.

The freedom I was living 5 years ago is different to the freedom I’m living now.

5 years ago when I got to Bali the freedom I needed was a sacred cucoon for my healing, and that I got. I was so financially supported because of my business that I didn’t have to think about finances for such a long time, and I got to focus on myself, my healing, and my de-conditioning process away from the illusion of the matrix.

The freedom I will live 5 years from now will no doubt be different to the freedom I’m living now.

Maybe I’ll have babies by then, maybe I won’t. But I know the freedom will be different because I will be different.

And that’s the beauty of having a freedom lifestyle business… it moves and groves and ebbs and flows, and most importantly evolves, as we do. 

What a beautiful fucking day and age we get to live in, depending on the timeline and world we subscribe to.

I am so excited for the future of our children, with all of us ambitious and driven mama & papas standing strong in the pursuit of our birthright; abundance and freedom.

Thank you for being here.
I love you Soul much!

P.S. I think I’ve found a new hobby in roller skating!! I’ll keep you updated. Went to an event this week and totally loved it. Reckon I’m gonna get my own pair of skates so I can be a hot skater mama! 

Until next week,
Melly

xo